All of us strive to succeed in all we do. Success, however, is not easy. It takes constant effort, focus, and determination to achieve. To facilitate this and ensure our efforts are spent in the most effective manner, we have developed success drivers. On the surface, the success drivers describe a set of traits geared towards enabling our success. At a deeper level, however, success drivers are a comprehensive and balanced system designed to bring about positive change to our inner traits, habits, and characteristics, as well as in our external perceptions of people and events. Our success drivers will enable us to achieve success both in our business and personal lives. They achieve this by helping us identify and up-root those personal attitudes that hinder our success. Then they help entrench the attitudes needed to propel us towards the achievement of personal and business objectives. The success drivers are divided into two groups. First, there are the internal drivers we need to establish a sound, stable, and balanced set of attitudes and behaviors. These “Internal 4” drivers work by creating a comprehensive framework that identifies the key behaviors, or traits we need to become more self-aware of our performance and driven to enhance that performance. The second set of drivers is the “External 4”. The “External 4” addresses an area key to our success, which is our ability to interact and cooperate effectively with others. The “External 4” achieves this by enabling us to employ a process of developing effective interpersonal relationships.

The “Internal 4” detailed the inner, or personal, traits we need to ensure our success. We, however, do not live in isolation from others. We rely on our subordinates for the assistance they provide us in achieving assigned tasks. We rely on our peers for their assistance in coordinating and completing shared objectives. We rely on our managers for the guidance and support they provide us. We rely on our customers for our very existence as an organization. We rely on our suppliers to deliver the resources we need to meet our customers’ demands. Hence, our success is reliant not only on our own personal effort, but also on others and the effectiveness of our relationships with them. Consequently, a comprehensive value system needs to address the issue of building effective interpersonal relationships. How do we build and maintain effective interpersonal relationships? We do so by ensuring that when we interact with others, we interact in a manner that fosters understanding and cooperation. This, we believe, can only be done when we go beyond simply listening to others and actually start understanding their pointofview. By understanding others, we will begin to look beyond our differences, which is usually where most relationships end, and begin investigating ways of channeling these differences toward a new understanding. This twoway and openminded communication process, or dialogue as Isaacs and Senge call it, will make us more receptive and open to the ideas and perceptions of others. We will no longer let our opinions or backgrounds bias our interpretation of what is said or done by others. Hence, we will receive the views of others with an open mind and with the attitude that there might be truth in what they are saying. Only with this attitude will we truly be able to access the intelligence and experience of those around us, and benefit from it. Thus, the purpose of the “External 4” is to enable us to reach this new understanding and, in doing so, to form a totally new basis from which to think and act. Ultimately, this means that we will not merely try to reach agreement; rather we will try to create a context from which many new agreements might come. We will seek to uncover a base of shared meaning that can greatly help align our actions with our values. Fostering our joint ability to think together in a common relationship, means we will no longer take your own position as final. We will listen to the possibilities that arise from our interactions with others – possibilities that might not otherwise have occurred. How can we achieve this? We can achieve this by adopting the traits that bring about change at the source of our thoughts and feelings. These are what the following four values will help us achieve. 1. Ihsan AlThan (Trust): To form new understandings, the basis of dialogue, rather than compromise on what we believe to be true or right, we need to start with trust. Trust, or Ihsan AlThan, means we believe what others say to us without doubting their intentions. At a practical level, this means we will begin attributing the mistakes of others (in terms of what is said or done to us) to ignorance, poor communication, or other unintentional reasons, not to a purposeful intent to mislead or harm. By denying the existence of hidden agendas or ulterior motives, we will gradually begin to deal with others as individuals with specific needs and concerns and whose perspective on matters is as legitimate as our own. This form of Ihsan AlThan, however, can be viewed as a type of naivety or simple mindedness. This view could be accepted were it not for two points. The first point is the existence of It’qan. As stated previously, It’qan is driven by caution, and it is this caution that will allow us to practice Ihsan AlThan while taking care not to harm the interests of the organization, or others who have entrusted us. This means that if we end up getting deceived, manipulated, or betrayed by others it is not because we trusted them, it is because we have not practiced enough It’qan. In other words, our disappointment with others, is not because they are “bad”. As such, it is because our work was not “good” enough to protect us. It was not good enough if we did not carry out the needed due diligence. It would not be good enough if we did not remove any loopholes or gray areas that might tempt others to abuse the situation. Thus, in the final analysis, we should take responsibility for whatever happens to us, and not blame it on the “dishonesty” or “deceit” of others. The second point is that the practice of mistrusting people or doubting their intentions is in fact a naïve or simpleminded approach because it deprives us of the vast opportunities, we can gain from interacting with others just because we feel they might harm or mislead us. For example, an individual who has had two or three bad experiences flying might conclude that all air flights are bad, and, consequently, stop flying. This individual might feel he is doing the smart thing, but in fact he has let a few bad experiences deprive him of the vast benefits air travel can provide. Similarly, a person who has been “cheated” or “tricked” might conclude that all relationships are driven by ulterior motives and that no one is to be trusted. This individual will always be suspicious, and not be willing to listen to and benefit from others. Thus, when we are able to exhibit Ihsan AlThan balanced with It’qan we will become more open to the ideas, opinions, and needs of others and less likely to impose our interpretations on what they say. We will no longer be driven by suspicion, rather by the need to simultaneously trust and fulfill our responsibilities towards others. This is the first step towards creating dialogue between us.

2. Qabool (Endure): Ihsan AlThan can stop at both sides tolerating each other’s viewpoint. Dialogue, however, aims to create a new understanding based on the views and needs of all sides to an issue or problem. Thus, we need to move beyond simply tolerating or even accepting other points of view and begin the process of actually seeing things from the other point of view. To do this we need Qabool, or endurance. Qabool means to “endure” the views of others by going beyond tolerance or acceptance and working to suppress our biases or needs to actually try to understand and work with these different views. This, however, is not easy, hence the use of the term “endures”. We need to endure opposing points of view even if we do not agree with them or believe them to be contrary to our needs. We need to endure the process of looking at opposing pointsofview to understand their source and motivation. Ultimately, we need to endure the possible need to abandon our positions in favor of a new and possibly more effective position. To endure means we need to exert effort, patience, and tolerance. We will not do this, however, if we are not sure, there will be some return benefit for us. So, what benefit will we gain from Qabool? There are two primary benefits to Qabool. First, it will bring us closer to the goal of developing effective and constructive dialogue amongst us. The second, and more immediate, benefit is that by looking at situations from varying points ofview we will gain new insights and widen our perspectives on matters. Realizing this second point is key to accepting Qabool. Why? Because, by accepting the fact that ignoring the views of others deprives us of the benefits these views might contain, we will be internally motivated to adopt Qabool. Arriving at this realization, however, is not an easy onestep process. It will be gradual and will take considerable effort on our part. It is akin to adopting a new hobby like horseback riding, for example. At the start we are uncomfortable and anxious because we do not know enough to enjoy what we are doing. Thus, instead of focusing on the beauty of the sport or the horse itself, we spend most of our concentration trying to learn the sport and its various techniques (In Qabool this represents the starting phase when we try to learn tolerance and the process of looking at issues from opposing pointsofview.) Slowly, as we become more comfortable and knowledgeable in the sport, we will begin to appreciate it and the new perspectives it gives us. For example, we will begin to look at the beauty of the sport, at the beauty of the animals, and at the physical benefits it has given us (In Qabool this represents the point when tolerance, acceptance, and endurance become second nature to us, and we begin reaping the benefits of the various pointsofview we are exposed to). In short, Qabool is an acquired talent the benefits of which can only be reaped once this talent, is fully adopted by us. How does Qabool manifest itself in us? We will have adopted Qabool when:

• We demonstrate tolerance by not letting our disagreements lead to animosity or an inability to function with others.
• We actively listen and try to clarify the opposing pointofview to determine what others are trying to say and what their true motivation is.

These behaviors will further our acceptance of different pointsofview and make it more likely for us to work with these differences rather than against them. A sure sign we have adopted these behaviors is when we find ourselves searching hard for points of agreement, and for methods of fitting our understanding with others’ models. When this becomes possible, we will have demonstrated Qabool and taken a further step towards dialogue. 3. Iq’bal: As we continue to exhibit Qabool, our understanding of and familiarity with other views and perspectives will increase. However, as long as we continue to perceive ideas in the framework of “ours” and “theirs” we will not be able to progress beyond Qabool. We will continue to perceive the views of others as something to be endured and tolerated. This, in itself, connotes that we are doing others a favor by “tolerating” them. And, as long as we feel this, we will not be able to accept the views of others as our own. Thus, what is now needed is the ability to blur the distinction between “ours” and “theirs” and view things from the “us” perspective. This is what we define as Iq’bal. Iq’bal will enable us to see points of intersection more clearly, liberate ourselves from our personal perspectives, and promote a more fluid means of thinking and working together. The process of adopting Iq’bal starts when; after striving to adopt Qabool, we begin to feel a genuine interest and curiosity in the views and opinions of others. It starts when we feel that the seeds of interest have grown sufficiently to enable us to appreciate what others are saying and see the possible benefits of it. Eventually, this leads us to no longer view these differences as a burden or as something we need to “endure”. Rather, we begin to see them as something of interest that arouses our curiosity. This curiosity leads us to further investigate and understand others, and to engage in a process of joint learning, and interaction. This will then enable us to uncover common ground and points of overlap to build frames of mind based on a new “us” perspective. This new perspective will then lead us to cooperate with others and build on our new common understanding of issues. We will become energized to work with others and to demonstrate that Mouazarah built a firm foundation of understanding and appreciation rather than one built on a weak foundation of personal interest and temporary benefit. 4. Loving: The more we adopt Iq’bal as a value, the more we will be working with others to understand them, resolve our differences with them, and uncover new points of common understanding. This growing familiarity which and working with others will increase our appreciation of who they are, what they stand for, and what can be expected of them. We will also become more attuned to how they will react, and how best to work with them in an effective relationship. This enhanced awareness or intense appreciation is what we term Love. We are referring to the kind of “love” that exists among members of highly effective and productive teams. It is a love born of extreme knowledge and appreciation of others, and the belief that we can trust and rely on them. This love, when it exists, means we have practiced effective dialogue and have been able to bridge the differences between ourselves to create a new and more powerful paradigm from which to work. Love is based on intimate familiarity. Our contact with people, however, is often brief or in very specific situations (e.g., on a project, or a limited assignment). Thus, when we reached the stage of “Love” with someone, we most probably reached this stage based on a limited and specific situation. For example, having worked with and gotten to know someone while both of us were part of a specific project exposes me to the traits of that person as a colleague or peer. Then, when we go through the “External 4” process of Ihsan AlThan, from Qabool to Iq’bal to love, we go through it on the basis of being peers, and all that develops from this process develops on this basis. However, if we work on another project in which one is the supervisor of the other, then we will not be sure of what behaviors and opinions to expect from each other. We will not know what effect the manager – subordinate relationship will have on the dialogue we previously developed. This means the process of dialogue is now disrupted. Hence, to rebuild it we will have to restart the “External 4” process based on this new relationship.